Constraints are the non-negotiable forces that are imposed on us, while restraints are the optional restrictions that we place on ourselves. Same effect, different source; the difference is in our ability to choose.

Constraints design and restraints define.

Constraints design. In a board game, constraints are the rules of how to play and what determines winning. They are the essential components of the game. We might not love every aspect of the constraints, but without them, there’s no game to play. The constraints design the game.

Restraints define. In a board game, restraints are the strategic choices we make based on our understanding of the game. They are the essential interactions in the game. We might not love our options, but to play we have to make decisions. The restraints define the player.

It’s an example of precious thinking to complain about constraints; instead, the most effective players intentionally align their restraints accordingly.