I didn’t stop to ask.

I followed it.

Like it was written somewhere.

Like there’d be consequences if I didn’t.

Be thoughtful.

Don’t be a burden.

Have the answer.

Don’t need too much.

No one said it.

I started enforcing it myself.

On myself.

The behavior, the tone, the tightness.

The voice in my head

telling me what’s allowed.

What isn’t.

What’s right,

what’s wrong.

I caught myself apologizing for interrupting.

Not for being unkind.

For already knowing.

That’s when I heard it.

The rule I’ve been following:

I am only safe when I am certain.

When I know.

That rule used to protect me.

‘I know.’

The two most dangerous words in my vocabulary.

I know limits me.

I know it limits me.

Keeps me in the role.

Keeps me obedient.

Keeps me out of the room

I want to be in.

I don’t know is more accurate.

‘I don’t know’

are the three most honest words in my vocabulary.

I want to know and name the rule.

Then decide if it belongs in the life

I’m trying to live.