I say I need it.

This solution.

That outcome.

The next step.

I call it essential.

It’s a preference.

The loop of preferences

with requirements.

Trying to make it non-negotiable.

I confused certainty with clarity.

Conviction with necessity.

I wanted what I wanted.

I made it sound like survival.

Like insisting a conversation

must happen now,

when I don’t want to sit

in the discomfort now.

This loop of inflating preferences

to principles.

What helps me take the air out

is asking:

Is this something I want

or something I need?

One isn’t better than the other.

One is more honest.

When I can be honest

about what I want,

I can be honest

about owning it.

When I own what I want,

I get to choose again.