I walked in calm.

I was already performing.

I wasn’t listening, I was rehearsing.

Preparing answers I hadn’t been asked.

No one told me to do that.

It’s the gear I shifted into.

Before I even knew I was moving.

That’s the thing about engagement.

It’s automatic.

It happens beneath the surface.

When I don’t notice it,

I confuse urgency for clarity.

I caught myself in a meeting explaining something

I no longer believe.

Not because I was lying.

I forgot I had another option.

I thought I was leading.

Turns out, I was protecting.

Protecting an image.

A vision. An idea.

Protecting my certainty.

Protecting against feeling too much.

When I over-function,

it looks like confidence.

It’s usually is the delusion of control.

It’s a way of not needing anyone.

Not being affected.

Not getting hurt.

That used to be effective.

It’s no longer acceptable.

Now I see how it keeps me apart from.

The system, from us, from me.

I want to engage differently.

Without the armor.

Without the gear.

Without the scripted strength.

The moment doesn’t need my best answer.

It needs the best version of me

I can stand myself in.