I tell myself I’m being honest.

I believe it.

I even feel self-righteous about it.

Until later.

When something doesn’t add up.

When someone reflects something back.

When I feel the tension I talked my way around.

If I’m being honest, I’m not always sure if I’m being honest.

What I do know is when I’m consciously being dishonest.

The lie. The avoidance. The performance.

Hard to admit in a post.

Easy to see in my intentional review.

What’s harder to see and easier to admit,

is when I am unconsciously dishonest.

When I am oblivious to it.

It’s not truth.

It’s perception posing as truth.

I’ll push it with conviction.

Call it clarity.

Claim it as obvious.

It’s not.

It’s just my interpretation.

delivered with confidence.

Backed by urgency.

Rooted in fear.

That’s what gets me in trouble.

Not lying.

Believing I’m right.

Without realizing,

I’m guessing.

Dishonesty isn’t only deception.

It’s disconnection.

From myself.

From what’s true in the moment.

What resets me? Asking,

“Am I owning the truth as I perceive it,

or pushing it as the truth as I want it to be?”

It moves me from posturing to presence.

If I’m being honest,

there’s very little capital-T truth.

There is a whole lot of perception.

If I Am Being Honest

Dishonesty stems from

not owning the truth

as I perceive it to be.

That’s the restraint.

The work.

When I pretend my interpretation

is the truth,

I move out of alignment.

I lose integrity.

Not from the lie.

From the lack of listening.

If you’re being honest,

are you sure you’re being honest?