My feelings arrive too fast
for me to understand.
Too deep, to explain.
Too loud, to ignore.
Too sharp, to respond.
I would,
I will,
I do react to every feeling
like it is the whole truth.
Or try to outrun it
like it was a trap.
Or try to avoid it
like it was hole.
An action I fall into.
Reflection on my actions uncovered sustraint.
An inaction of
what not to do.
A response to feeling.
To meet it.
To stay with it.
To stay in it.
Without collapsing into it.
Sustraint is the pause
between emotion and action.
It’s the difference between
“I feel this”
and “I am this.”
It sounds like:
“I feel anger.
That doesn’t mean they’re wrong.”
“I feel fear.
That doesn’t mean I’m in danger.”
Sustraint gives my heart space
to hold the feeling
without turning over the steering wheel .
Not every emotion
is a command.
They’re signals.
Sustraint is a way to stay.
My experience with healing
isn’t feeling less,
or more,
or different.
It’s feeling
without losing myself.