I knew what was indicated.
Not all of it.
But enough.
Enough to act.
Enough to begin.
I didn’t even start.
Not because I didn’t care.
Not because I needed more time.
Not because it wasn’t indicated.
I traded clarity
for comfort.
I traded knowing
for delay.
I traded indicated
for familiar.
I found reasons.
I rehearsed them.
I called them logic.
I called them discernment.
They were hesitations.
Procrastination.
The cost of change
felt higher than the cost of staying stuck.
Even when I knew better.
Even when I was better.
Even when I’d said it out loud.
That’s the ache of awareness.
It doesn’t always bring motion.
Sometimes it brings the truth.
A gift of clarity.
A moment to close the gap
between knowing and moving.
A willingness test.
An opportunity to earn faith
Faith is the result
of a willingness test
expressed.