I’ve been in the room.

Fully in it.

I’ve been with you.

Fully with you.

Doing what was indicated.

Feeling aligned.

Acting from clarity.

Not confused. Not lost.

Aligned.

Still feeling completely alone.

Believing in what I was doing.

Believing in how I was doing it.

Perfectly? Of course not.

Close enough. Close enough to feel closer to right.

I knew it wasn’t random.

I wasn’t reactive. I know reactive. I’ve been reactive.

I’ll be reactive again.

I don’t catch it in the moment.

I can see it looking back.

Looking back now it doesn’t feel like that.

It feels like the other times.

Other times that landed.

That resonated. That connected.

Same clarity. Different outcome.

No results. No validation.

Silence. Distance. Doubt.

That’s the harder kind of isolation.

Not from being wrong.

From not being seen in your rightness.

Not righteousness.

Rightness. Closer to right.

Internal clarity paired with external disconnection.

Haunted and comforted by the question:

Am I aligned, or am I delusional?

Asking helps.

Answering doesn’t.

Yeah…You’re not delusional.

You’re you. Go be more of you.

Really?

Am I the only one who sees it?

Feels it?

Knows this is the way?

Still knowing that in this moment,

in all moments,

I am a part of the system.

Still feeling apart from it.

Connected to the signal.

Cut off from the parts.